Let’s take a quick run down our checklist::

• We’ve set goals and established an action plan;
• We have started implementing our action plan;
• We’re enjoying what we’re doing;
• We’ve come to grips with the fact that results will take time and we are looking to develop a lifestyle which supports the goals that we’ve set.
• We’re striving for improvement… becoming “better”;
• We value rest and relaxation and see that this is an important part of our action plan/ lifestyle.

There’s a lot of “we have’s” in that list.   WE are trying OUR best to achieve OUR goals.

But what about those times when we just don’t know what to do, where to go or how to proceed – our GPS navigational system has died and we’re at the interchange?

As a male using road trip analogies it’s tough to write this… but there comes a time when you just need to have the strength, courage and wisdom to ask for help. 

TIP #7 – GET HELP

Perhaps it’s reaffirmation that what you’re doing is “right”.  Maybe it’s a gentle nudge to get you (re)started/ motivated towards your goal.  It could be a bit of supervision to ensure that you’re going about it safely or maybe just a few tips and some encouragement along the way.   Maybe it’s a professional, maybe a “support group” of sorts, maybe just a friend… the important thing is that it truly  is HELP! 

Far too often we think that we are getting help or sound advice, but we become even more lost because the information provided either contradicts our plan of action or is just so plentiful that we don’t know which way to go (I find the latter is often the case with online “stuff” – forums, support groups, searching for info).  Is it honest-to-goodness sound advice, or is it just someone’s opinion or personal bias?

So even as we seek out help we have to be cautious!

A few suggestions when seeking out help:

1.  Do a bit of homework on where this guidance is coming from (I’m not suggesting that you should run a criminal background or contact the Better Business Bureau);
2.  Look for a source with some notable credentials and references;
3.  Look for a proven track record (has this source helped others like you);
4.  Ensure that the source you choose to work with can truly help you achieve your goals – are they committed to helping you?;
5.  If you’re seeking out a professional, can you work with them?  You are establishing somewhat of a trusting relationship with them by entrusting them with your health, well-being and in some cases money.
6.  Minimize your "input streams".  Pick 2 or 3 sources of information and focus on these.  Too many people/ websites all giving slightly different (or dramatically different) snippets of wisdom becomes confusing.

Please feel free to comment below, on my Facebook Page or on Twitter (#ResolutionRoadTrip).

7 days in, 2 tips and 3 blogs to go.  I hope you’re all finding this series beneficial and are starting to get a sense of direction in the planning and implementation of your own personal Resolution Roadmaps.

Today we look at what I feel is the most important rule of physical training, and a critical component in planning for success along our Resolution Road Trip – Rest!

TIP #6 – REST AND RELAXATION

The past month has been filled with waaaay too much stress.  Too much running around, too much focus on money, too much food, too much booze, not enough sleep, in some cases too much family, and far too much pressure on ourselves. 

Even the pressures we place on ourselves to make resolutions and be successful in accomplishing these can be stressful.  “Gotta prepare my food”. “Gotta get to the gym”.  “Gotta read that blog”.  Does it make sense to have our attempts at healthy living become an added stress – a bit oxymoronic and counterproductive if ya ask me?!

When it comes time to put efforts in to our resolution-oriented activities, a workout, meal planning, a run, or reading, do we have the energy, mental capacity and focus required to do so efficiently or do we find ourselves too drained from the rest of our life?  How far do you really think you’re going to get functioning like this?  How long do you think you can sustain the efforts that you’ve outlined (PoA) to accomplish your goal?

Remember, we’re trying to put forth our BEST effort on a consistent basis, and if our “best” is generally sub-par, then so are the results that we will achieve.

Breaking news… sometimes less is more!
(Now I must add the caveat that this isn’t a license or excuse to slack off.  This is time for a little reality check.)

We need to take a quick (and honest) look at our lives, lifestyles and activities and ask, “Is everything I’m doing a necessity?”  “Do all of the things that I’m doing contribute to the success of goals or are there some that prevent me (either directly or indirectly) from putting my best foot forward?”  To refer back to my favourite Einstein quote where insanity is defined as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”   

As we answer these questions honestly, do we need to think about paring back a bit and allowing ourselves some time to rest, relax, rejuvenate, replenish?

As we continue to tweak and tailor our Plan of Action, we need to include rest in that.  Just as you schedule and plan for workouts, meal prep or self-improvement activities, we need to include time for  rest and relaxation in this formula.  Work, work, work kind of makes sense in terms of achieving our results – we’re programmed to believe that more and harder is better. 

Taking a day off and resting amidst our efforts to achieve, achieve, achieve takes balls – many a mortal being has fallen because they’re not courageous enough to take a step back and rest.

Please feel free to comment below, on my Facebook Page or on Twitter (#ResolutionRoadTrip).

Remember that along this great journey of yours there will be peaks and valleys.  The peak’s are great, but ooooh those valleys.  It’s at these moments, as frustration builds and we begin to question our commitment to the journey that we have chosen that we have to realize, things might not be perfect… but they’re better than they were before.  Today’s tip encourages us to see that “better” is better.
 
TIP #5 – DON'T THINK "PERFECT"… THINK "BETTER"

On any particular day, at any particular time, given the conditions that surround you, all that you can do is your best.  Legitimately and without excuses, your best.  Here’s a great clip about doing your best (I previously had this up on my Facebook Page but seems to have been lost with some of FB’s “improvements” – they’re doing their best).

You might not always be able to follow your Plan of Action to the letter.  Your workouts might not always show the resounding improvements that you are looking for or that you had during the last workout, or they might not leave you with the endorphin rush that you have become addicted to.  Due to the nature of life your diet-plan may periodically stray from what you had initially intended.  Time for a little introspection and to ask yourself, “Am I doing my absolute  best to succeed, or am I finding excuses and reasons to do less than my best?” 

If the answer is “Yes,  I am doing my best”, this is the time to take a quick glance in the review mirror and hopefully realize that even though things aren’t “perfect”, this is still better than it was before.  If you are trying your best and they’re not better than before, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the game plan or get some assistance (you’ll have to wait a few more days for my comments on this tip).

If the answer is “No, I’m not doing my best”, you can still take that little look over your shoulder to compare the “You Now” with the “You Then”.  Surprisingly, you may realize that despite not being perfect and not giving it your all, things are still better than they were - holy crapola… imagine if you’d really been trying!  And, if upon inspection, the results wind up that things aren’t better, a serious gut-check is in order to determine your commitment to the cause.

Day-to-day, knowing full well that the results that we’re looking for are going to take time (Right, have we come to terms with this yet?), we are looking to improve.  Not perfect… improve.

So here’s our checklist to date:
o  Goals set and our plan in place.
o  Action-steps have commenced.
o  We’re enjoying what we’re doing.
o  No expectations for immediate results, we are looking to develop habits for life.
o  Striving for improvement… becoming “better”.

Please feel free to comment below, on my Facebook Page or on Twitter (#ResolutionRoadTrip).

Moving down our list of tips, today's post is essentially a sequel to something I wrote last year  (I'm always happy when a year later I look at something and still consider it valid - it makes it feel a little more concrete).

Last January I was inundated with the emotions of others.  Lots of people were expressing a lot of emotions and I wrote a blog for them entitled “Enjoy”.  Hopefully today’s tip will be pre-emptive and help us move forward on our “Resolution Road Trip”.

TIP #3 – ENJOY IT

Resulting from the realizations I had last year, I now include this thought in pretty much all of my discussions with clients and people looking for advice on how to move forward:  "Do things in a way that will keep you happy.  Start to pick away and remove the superfluous BS from your life that you do not enjoy.  If you’re not enjoying something, figure out why the hell you’re doing it."

So as you sit down and begin to create your Plan of Action (PoA for all you acronymically-inclined people out there – and yes,  acronymically is MY word) ask yourself the question, “Will I enjoy doing this?”   And as you answer, be 100% honest with yourself.  Is it just that this sounds hard and I don’t really feel like exerting myself?  Do I really know that I won’t enjoy this particular choice?  A tough workout might seem daunting, and may even leave us a bit sore, but the feelings of accomplishment afterward may be overshadowing.

If you don’t like running, it doesn’t make sense to include running 3 times a week in your PoA.  If you don’t like fish, it becomes counterproductive to state that you are going to start eating white fish twice a week as a good source of protein.  You will begin to loathe that particular activity, it will become burdensome and before you know it, you’ll be finding any and every excuse in the book not to do it.  Suddenly we are not following our PoA and we become frustrated and prone to giving up. 

If the answer to the question “Will I enjoy doing this?” is legitimately “yes” – perfect!  If the answer is “I don’t know”, place an asterix beside it, revisit this later, and if you truly find yourself not enjoying it, think of how to remedy this.  If you immediately spout “NO WAY”, think of other things that you will enjoy doing that lead toward the same result.  Yes, some of these alternatives may take a little longer and appear as more of a scenic route, but hopefully we’ve come to terms with the fact that this journey is more of a marathon than a sprint.  And hey, you may find that as you proceed along your resolution road trip and you revisit your PoA, some of the things that made you initially curl up your nose may become a little more appealing - so keep an open mind.

As we look to develop habits which will help us endure this road trip until our final destination, we must surround ourselves with things that make us smile.  It sets us up for being able to sustain these behaviours once we have reached our destination.  Arriving at our final destination smiling makes staying there a lot more promising.

Please feel free to comment below, on my Facebook Page or on Twitter (#ResolutionRoadTrip).

Do you really want to achieve the goal of losing those last 8 pounds of weight hanging on post-pregnancy in 3 months – only to put it back on?  Do you really want to “quit” smoking for 6 months – and then restart?  The efforts and dedication that we put into achieving these results seems pointless if we simply revert back to the way we were and the habits we had.

Today’s tip looks at making these results stick rather than just being a flash in the pan.

TIP #4 - THINK LONG-TERM

I KNOW WE WANT RESULTS NOW!  I get it.  But do me a favour for a second and rack your brain to think of how many people you know that have achieved great results through a quick-fix diet, or obsession with fitness and actually maintained these practices, and subsequently, maintained their results.  Think of all the popular diet approaches: Atkins, South Beach, Slim Fast, Body by Vi -  how many people do you know who made incredible progress on these programs, achieving their expectations and beyond, only to revert back to pre-program condition (or worse) at the conclusion.  How many of the goals that you are setting have you previously set out to accomplish (and maybe succeeded in accomplishing)?  Is this another attempt?  Obviously there something in your methodology that prevented it from "sticking"... so let's start thinking "long term".

I can inundate you with quotes:

“Rome wasn’t built in a day”
“Good things come to those who wait”
“Slow and steady wins the race”
“Patience is a virtue”

AND THEY'RE ALL THE TRUTH.

Don’t sabotage your ability to sustain your progress by finding quick-fixes and trying to take short-cuts.  Commit fully to achieving your goals, but don’t become impatient.  Your commitment indicates that you are in this for the long-haul, so buckle up and enjoy your ride to success.  Develop habits which you can sustain for the duration of your quest and beyond – nothing stinks more than achieving your goal and then falling back into old patterns and subsequently returning to where you began this whole process.

Don't try to change everything at once.  In formulating your goals, plan out the series of small steps that you are going to take to get you to your end result.  Remember Dr. Leo Marvin’s book in the movie “What About Bob?”  Take baby steps.  Ease into it.

“Baby steps to working out 5 days a week”
“Baby steps to eating a healthier, more nutritious diet”
“Baby steps to getting more rest”

That said, these baby steps are not excuses to procrastinate.  They are a chance to develop habits and let them stick before presenting yourself with new challenges.

Resolve yourself right now to the fact that you are not going to get results overnight.  This will take time.  Whether the goals that we sit down and set for ourselves at the beginning of the year are deemed “short-term” (1 to 3 months) or “long-term”(6 months and beyond), these are just the due dates that we are establishing for ourselves (if you looked at the S.M.A.R.T. mnemonic for goal-setting, this represents the “time-oriented” component).  We want the changes that we are about to make to be sustainable for a lifetime.

See ya tomorrow...

Please feel free to comment below, on my Facebook Page or on Twitter (#ResolutionRoadTrip).

I hope that yesterday's  suggestion to get started, didn't overwhelm anyone just yet, although I'm sure that some of you are asking the question, "well where the heck are we going?". 

Well, that's today's tip - establishing exactly where it is that we want to go and how we plan to get there.

TIP #2 - SET GOALS & MAKE A PLAN

I equate the making and execution of resolutions (herein goals) to taking a trip (hence the title of this series in case you were wondering), so buckle up and expect a lot of road trip analogies.

I want to go on a trip.  A road trip.  I hear they're loads of fun.  The United States sounds like a worthy destination for this example.

Go to Google Maps and try to get directions from Canada to the United States… [insert annoying buzzer sound here]…  “We could not calculate directions between Canada and United States.”  Bummer.

Well, I do know my starting point, so let’s try Nova Scotia to the United States…  hey presto, results!   We get 53 steps of directions to get from somewhere in the middle of Nova Scotia to somewhere in Kansas (the center of the U.S. of A. I presume).

But I really don’t want to go to Kansas (no offense Kansans – did you know they’re called Kansans?), I’ve heard New England is beautiful this time of year.

One last search… Nova Scotia to Massachusetts… 20 steps and it lands me a heck of a lot closer to a final destination.  Now, the final destination might not be perfect, but it’s a heck of a lot closer than Kansas.

You get the point.

Take out the document that we started working on yesterday,  I asked you to start by writing down what it is that you are looking to achieve.  Now I need you to take that goal(s)…  and get specific.  Start to break it down into as many little bite-size chunks as you can.  “I want to get in better shape”, “I want to lose weight”, “Eat better” are all too vague and general, leaving you clicking your heels all the way to Kansas, Dorothy. 

“I want to be able to run up the stairs to my office without getting winded”, “I want to lose 5 pounds of body fat and fit into a size 10 dress” – now we’re talking about things we can measure and quantitatively observe.  Once you have these objectives written down, your end point per se, you can start looking at the directions - what you are going to do and how you are going to change to make this become a reality. 

There’s a great acronym that’s used for goal setting, it’s the S.M.A.R.T. acronym.  If you’re interested in delving a little deeper into this part of your resolution, here’s a great read.

Now all this might seem like a lot of work to simply “make a resolution”, and if simply stating a resolution is what you want to do, then carry on as you were and I wish you all the best. 

If you have the determination to take action on the decision that you have made (remember our definition of “resolution” from Day 1) then maybe a bit more work than previous attempts is warranted.

Come back tomorrow as I look at Tip #3, and we continue to look at what I feel are some essential inclusions in your plan to success.

Please feel free to comment below, on my Facebook Page or on Twitter (#ResolutionRoadTrip).

Didn’t think I’d be back huh??

Well, like I said yesterday, over the next week, I’m  going to delve a little deeper into each of my 7 thoughts for successful resolution-making.

So without further ado, here’s Tip #1

TIP #1 - START NOW!

I know you all want to hear my thoughts and read all about the 7 fantastic tips that I have for making your resolutions a success this year (and I appreciate it), but my first piece of advice is this: “Don’t wait – start now!”

Figure out what it is that you really want to achieve.  Write it down.  This begins a working document of sorts that you can begin to tinker and tailor throughout the upcoming week and beyond.  Writing these ambitions down makes them more than just a thought.

Start to think about how you are going to bring these to fruition… and as you do this, think about implementing these action-steps NOW!  Maybe it’s on a smaller scale than intended, maybe it’s a little different than you thought the important thing is that you start!

Don’t wait to find time to go shopping for a new outfit, or for the most up-to-date issue of Mens Health to arrive before starting your routine.  Don’t wait for the next pay-check so you can join the gym.  There are things that you can do right now to begin working towards your goals.

“But my goal is to go to the gym 3 days a week and I don’t have the money to join right now”. 
Start working out at home!  Set aside the time that you were allotting for the gym and use this to do some exercises at home – form the habit of including physical activity into your week.  And hey, this foundation you are laying might serve you well when it comes time to transition into the gym.

“I’m waiting for my first issue of Runners World that Uncle Johnny gave me for Christmas.  The January issue always has great beginner tips in it.” 
I’ll pretty much guarantee that one of the first tips is to run!  So go for a jog.  See how it feels.  Take it easy if you’re worried about overdoing it, but you know what… you’ve just taken the first step towards achieving your goal of running.  Okay, okay, you run to the mailbox everyday to see if the magazine is there – I get it.

You can come up with every explanation in the book as to why you can’t or shouldn’t start immediately.  BAD START, and very few of them are legit (even though you'll convince yourself that they are).  When your new magazine or fancy workout gear arrives, you can see if changes can be/ need to be made.  Continuously putting off starting doesn’t help you get any closer to where you want to be.  Take that first step – you won’t regret it!

Please feel free to comment below, on my Facebook Page or on Twitter (#ResolutionRoadTrip).

Well, the world was supposed to end on December 21st so na na na na boo boo to the Incan calendar and Nostradamus (yeah apparently he predicted that when “Gangnam style” hit a billion views, it’d be lights out planet Earth – Google it, you’ll see).

Well, we made it, and holy shitballs it’s January 1st!!!

Doesn’t the act of putting up the new calendar necessitate us getting busy making resolutions? 

I’m definitely not a descendant of any ancient  Andrean civilization nor am I of de Nostradame lineage (am I Dad?) but I’ll make a little prediction (actually I’m poaching someone else’s research here) in stating that only 8% of people who make new year's resolutions will be able to succeed at them entirely to their satisfaction.

Statistics from a 2012 study by the University of Scranton:
·   Losing weight is the #1 most common resolution;
·   46% of Americans make New Year’s resolutions;
·   76% maintain their resolutions through the 1st week, 46% go past 6 months;
·   39% of people in their 20's fulfill their resolution, while only 14% over the age of 50 do.

We do it year after year… in fact we’re encouraged to do it, but why do we so commonly fail at fulfilling our resolutions? 
(I’m going to continue by being a little more specific to fitness “resolutions”, but I do feel that these same thoughts are applicable to resolutions in other facets of our lives as well).

1.    We don’t set our goals appropriately.  Either we aim too high or too low.  We set out with an “all-or-nothing” approach, leaving us feeling deprived and frustrated, or we allow ourselves too much leeway, excuses creep in and before we know it we’re right back where we started. 
2.    We proceed with  too much gusto. You’ve heard the expression, "Rome wasn't built in a day"?  Well our goals aren’t going to be achieved overnight regardless of how gung-ho we are.
3.    We lack knowledge.  We think that the internet and/ or a subscription to [insert magazine title in the area of interest here] will garner us the knowledge that we require to achieve our goals. 
4.    We don’t see results fast enough.  Results take time and consistent effort.  It’s a marathon – not a sprint.
5.    We have no concept of improvement.  People fail to objectively monitor their progress.  Small improvements become overshadowed by the fact that we haven’t met our goal yet.   
6.    We lack true conviction.  The word “resolution” is defined as the act of resolving to do (or not do) something… the making of a firm decision, and undertaking this decision with determination.  But I think we’ve come to  place some mystical power in the word.  We’re led to believe that “if we say it out loud, then it will come to pass” and this gives us false hope and removes the need for the determination which is engrained in the definition of the word.  January 1st rolls around and “Oh, it’s resolution time again… hmm… what do I want to do this year?”

Unfortunately, changing a habit(s) takes effort – there’s no easy way to make it happen, no genie will pop out and grant us our wish, and ultimately the question arises, “how badly do you want it”? Unfortunately, far too often, not badly enough.

I was recently asked to write down 5 tips to help succeed in achieving your goals in the New Year… well, I didn't stop at 5 and I came up with what I feel are 7 valuable suggestions to help you set off on the right foot, beat the Vegas odds, and hopefully achieve what it is you’ve said you want to do.

My 7 tips for successful Resolutioning:

1.    Start now.
2.    Set goals and make a plan
3.    Enjoy it
4.    Think long-term
5.    Don’t think perfect… think  “better” 
6.    R&R
7.    Get help 

Over the next 7 days, I will discuss each one of these points in a little more depth, so stay tuned...

Please feel free to comment below, on my Facebook Page or on Twitter (#ResolutionRoadTrip).

"It’s being widely broadcast that we as a nation have a serious problem which directly affects the health of our country.  We are in the midst of an obesity epidemic and even more significantly an epidemic of childhood obesity (almost a third of Canadians aged five to 17 are overweight or obese).  For the first time in history, our children will die at a younger age then their parents due to the poor health habits that have been passed on to them.

Fellow Canadians,

Over the past decades we have done you and your families the disservice of misinforming you about the foods that you eat, the foods that you should eat and the foods that you shouldn’t eat.  We have been swayed by corporate contributors to support products and campaigns which have significantly contributed to the plight which we now face.  And even now, as we stare down the barrel, we wince, drawing up schemes and plans to appease the concerned masses, but truly know that these will never rectify the damage that we have caused.

We are not sure where to begin, or who to target in our approach.  Do we now try to re-educate the adults whom we have misled for so long by allowing food manufacturers and bodies with vested interests to tote bogus nutritional claims of being healthy options?  Is it too late to teach the “old dogs new tricks”?  Do we focus on educating the future consumers – our children, so that when they’re old enough to make household decisions, they do so wisely, armed with knowledge and clarity?  We have spent millions of dollars, tax payers’ dollars, in attempts at “health promotion”, all the while flirting with the people who have leveraged us to lie to you and being swayed by corporate contribution to continue, and even propagate these mistruths. 

Recently it has been proposed that some of the strategies that were used to make an impact on tobacco use be used to alert consumers of poor food choices and the negative impact that these may have on your health.  But we’ve read the studies, and know that scare tactics do not work for food related behaviours yet we stand before you proposing that this is the way.  We tote our tobacco model  as a success in curtailing usage, yet we pick-and-choose only a few of the strategies utilized in this model  - taxation, scary pictures and some restrictions on sales.  Our tobacco model removed products from drug stores due to the conflicting health impact of these products.  Fearful that young consumers were being targeted and using these products without a true appreciation for the negative health impact we imposed age-restrictions on purchase – yet we are weary to take such aggressive measures to curtail the purchase and use of products which now have a more negative health impact than that of tobacco use.  Most provinces have passed legislature to prevent youths from utilizing tanning services due to the health impact that was being observed as a result of excess usage.

But we have a different relationship with food – it’s a necessity.   We need food to survive, and because of this we know that the approach that we have to take has to be even more aggressive… and honest.

But to be honest – we don’t know how to proceed.  Without wasting more time and money, we don’t even know where to begin.  There are obvious financial implications to any decision that we make and we are scared to do what is absolutely necessary to rectify the problem that we have caused.  

Projections indicate that our Health Care system is in grave danger (and yes, unfortunately that pun is intentional) due to the health costs that will result from the poor food choices that we have allowed you to make through our own negligence and greed.  The System which helps to identify us as a country, and separates us from our southerly neighbours is at risk of failure in the very near future, yet we are weary of offending, scared of losing the generous support that our corporate contributors provide, and fearful of the inevitable failure should our attempts not succeed.

We come before you humbled, conscious of ills that we have done, embarrassed by our actions, ashamed of breaching the trust you’ve put in us as leaders and ask you the consumer to now help us.   We need your help!"

I'm not sure why I'm finding so many articles and videos analogous to our lives and our journeys towards better health lately, but as I lay in bed this morning listening to the sound of silence, my beautiful little 3-year old daughter asleep in her room.... I read another.
 
This article tells the story of a young athlete from Tennesee who stops mid- race to help a fallen competitor.  Pretty selfless right?  A kid forgoes the chance to potentially win  to help someone else - their competition no less.

How many of us reading (or writing) this post get/ are so caught up in our own lives, our own goals, our own accomplishments that we overlook the people around us who are struggling with their lives or with things in their lives.

It's great to utter a few words of encouragement as we breeze by.   Shit, it might just be the right words that this person needed to hear at that particular time.  Lucky huh!?  It would've been easy for Seth (the boy in the article) to utter a quick "come on man, get up, finish strong" as he ran by his fallen peer en route to finishing his own race - he might've even won the race, clocked a PR.

Sometimes people need more than a word or cliched race slogan as we blow by them in our lives.  They need us to stop what we're doing and actually care about them.  There's a big difference between appearing to care (lip service) and actually giving a rat's ass.

So be honest... Do you know someone that if you gave them 5 minutes of your time... maybe 10.... maybe an hour out of your busy schedule, it might make a marked impact on their life?  Hey, I'm not suggesting that you forfeit the race... you can carry on when you feel that they're in good hands.

As human beings we are innately wired for this type of interaction - I think it's engrained somewhere within the definition of humanity.  We as human (or maybe that's humane) beings are meant to be compassionate, it gives us a sense of value, a feeling of contribution to the communities in which we were intended to dwell. I guarantee, seeing someone else's life change for the better because of something you've said or done far surpasses any physical award or commendation.

While Oprah terms it "paying it forward", others tote it as "karma", one of my Twitter chums (and yes, my awesome Dad) @FC4A tweets "it will start a reaction of the same. Observe how far a little kindness can go".  I dare ya.... try it!