You might remember the scene from G.I. Jane where Flea busts his knee in SERE training and Instructor Pyro asks him if he is hurt or injured. Hurt means you walk it off and keep going, injured means that you give up and quit.
Well, I have a similar question when we lose sight of our goals, “Is it failure or is it a setback?”
Failure is simply a matter of perspective. “One man’s failure is another man’s setback!”
A failure indicates finality. “I’m done, I’ve failed, and that’s that!”
A setback allows you to revisit The 7 Tips (they seem so official when I write that in capitals), maybe tweak your goals and re-work your PoA to something which is more manageable at this time.
A failure allows you bury your face in the pillow, only after taking your goals and PoA, balling it up and throwing it in the nearest garbage can along with the handful of Kleenex.
Call these my “Bonus Tips” for success.
Be honest with yourself. At numerous points along our road trip there were questions to ask ourselves, gut-checks to be had, and if at any one of these points we’ve been dishonest, then we’re fooling ourselves into believing that things are better than they are. If things aren’t better… admit it and do something about it. If these attempts don’t work… admit it and do something else. If you’re struggling and you need help… then admit it and ask for help. Things will not change if we don’t do something about it! If we reach the point where we lack any forward momentum, then we’ve been tricking ourselves for a while thinking that things were going okay and we’d pull through it. Be vigilant in looking at your progress, be honest.
Don’t worry about others. I find that very frequently, when I talk to friends and clients about goals, objectives and their progress towards these there are a lot of references to what other people are doing or what presumably has worked for other people. Who cares!? Facebook statuses lie! They’re not you. They don’t have your life. They don’t have your background. Honestly, what they’re doing probably doesn’t even impact your life. Concern yourself with your set of circumstances and the steps that you are taking (or not taking) to make that better!
No excuses. YOU set a goal! YOU developed a Plan of Action! YOU were responsible for implementing these action steps! The bottom line is that the onus lies with YOU to bring this to fruition (or at least to re-evaluate and make an adjustment so that YOU can). And if things don’t go as planned, then YOU fell short of the expectations that YOU set for YOURSELF. That’s the bottom line, so stand up, take responsibility, and move forward.
Remember, setbacks aren’t fun, but the important thing is that we keep moving forward and maintain some of that momentum, however little of it remains.
Try to find the positive and learn the lesson. From every bump in the road there is the potential for a lesson to be learned. What went wrong? What were we doing right at the time of impact? If the bump is a repeat, how was our approach to it different than before and was this approach BETTER?
Tomorrow is a new day. Despite setbacks today, tomorrow is a chance to start again with fresh outlooks, a modified game plan and renewed interest in success. Don’t delay… don’t “wait ‘til Monday” to start. Start tomorrow with a clear mind and ready to meet your challenge head-on.
No excuses. Much like my “Bonus Tip for Success”, you can’t project sub-par performance elsewhere. All of the reasons lie within. Here’s a re-post of little video to put this in perspective.
Smile more! That smile will help control your emotions. It’ll keep things a little more positive and a little less glum. It’ll keep the outside world (who are ready to make themselves feel better with someone else’s shortcomings) from fueling our feelings of failure or our instincts for excuses.
Some say that if you’ve never failed, you’ve never lived. With life we innately accept some risk, and with risk comes a heightened potential for “failure”. It’s how we recover from the “failures” that determines our success in life.
Day 1: What Lies Ahead
Day 2: Hit the Gas! [Tip #1 Start Now]
Day 3: Directions [Tip #2 – Set Goals and Make a Plan]
Day 4: Smiles and Laughter [Tip #3 – Enjoy It]
Day 5: The Long Haul [Tip #4 – Think Long Term]
Day 6: That’s Better [Tip #5 – Don’t Think “Perfect” – Think “Better”]
Day 7: Pit Stop [Tip #6 – Rest and Relaxation]
Day 8: 9-1-1 [Tip #7 – Get Help]